Really, this rushing makes me almost inhuman. I lose my heart and compassion and revert to a checklist.
In these times, I am guilty of the same sins Jesus mentions of the Pharisees: I am loving God with my words and my actions, but the heart behind those is lost. I was recently reading Jeremiah. Time and again, the prophet speaks of how God examines the thoughts and the heart.
For so long, I had been praying for peace and telling God that I was "resting in him," but my actions and the near ulcers building in my stomach told a different story.
It was recently, as I was forced to put my trust fully in God that I truly began to realize the error in my ways. I began to see how much my trust and confidence in God was empty words. I was professing trust, but my inner thoughts and feelings were speaking of self sufficiency and independence from Him.
It took that same independence failing me for me to begin to "be still and know." I am realizing that it is when we come face-to-face with our hopelessness and weakness that we are confronted with God's hope and strength.
This is where I found myself a few weeks ago. I was humbled and in awe of God and his faithfulness. Countless days spent of senseless worries became silly to me.
Through this experience, my inner thoughts and feelings are also now at a state of peace with God. My robotic nature in life has been dwindling as I am beginning to understand how trivial all of my stressing is. I feel as though my eyes have been opened and have finally seen God's provision. I serve a God who is eternally faithful. He is everlasting and his goodness never fails.
While I am sure that I will fail again, I see that God never will. Casting my cares upon him, I can proceed through my life resting in him and his faithfulness.
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