Glorious

God is so good.

In beauty, in pain- he is there.

Through the past few days, I have been intensely discovering the power of prayer with others.

I am overwhelmed with love for God and his children. I feel so blessed to call him Father- and these wonderful people my friends.

God has taken this mess that I am and blessed me with much.

I thank him over and over. Praise God.

He is the Creator of all things. The Alpha. The Omega. He was. He is. And He is to come.

Thank you, Lord for loving a wretch like me.

Thoughts from a seeking heart...

God is truly placing massive loads on my heart.

I feel that over and over again he is opening my blurred eyes to the beauty and wonder that he is.

In every step I am taking- I am seeing him.

Every word I am reading- he is there.

I think I am truly learning to see God in everything- and it has been through community with others.

Over the past couple of days I have had the blessed opportunities to pray with others- to share our hearts- to share our hurts- to be with others and there for them through their pain and joy.

I feel like I am living- I have been all along-but I feel as if my heart has come alive for God simply by loving on his children.

I am in love with him.

Although I have felt disconnected in a way for a while- even though I had lost my hunger and thirst- God is faithful- he does not let me go- he has restored me this time not by intense drowning myself in the Bible- not by hour-long prayer sessions (yet ;)), but right now- he has restored me by meeting with others- diving into the depths of our hearts and sharing Him with one another. I feel revived. Refreshed. Truly restored. Thank you, Lord.

Another piece of this I must touch on. I had chosen to release my inhibitions. In worship, I commonly don't just let myself go. I have never understood how powerful simply closing my eyes- and raising my hands to the creator of the universe is. I love letting go of myself to praise him in humble worship. I have now experienced how worship is not for God because he needs it- but because I need it.

Although I am young, I encourage you to truly let yourself go and worship God radically today.

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I have had too many thoughts and not enough posts lately. So, I want to cover everything in here.

The other day, I was reading about Solomon. Solomon- the wisest man that has ever lived. Even Solomon- in all of his glorious wisdom fell away from God.

Solomon let himself be led astray by his 700 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon- the wisest of all men. He surrounded himself with their gods, and he compromised his standards. He gave his heart over to idols.

It got me thinking- the wisest of humans still will never measure up to the glory of God.

Every new idea we have, God already knows. Every word that leaves our lips, God has already heard. Every step we take was written in his book even before we were born.

I feel that we so often can give ourselves over to complacency. I feel so often that I can give myself over to complacency. It is so illogical for me to be complacent with where I am when no amount of wisdom I can even attain will be enough to amount to God's.

God truly is glorious. He is the greatest of all things. Humans- we are so unworthy. Even Solomon, in all of his splendor fell away. We can never be perfect in our own wisdom- in our own strength. It is God- he is great. We need him.

We need him now.

We need him forever.

No amount of wisdom, strength, or knowledge can amount to God's.

But he loves us anyway. He wants us anyway.

How great is our God?

"From the rising of the sun till the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised."

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Pain and suffering.

I know that I cringe at the thought.

I know that as a young girl growing up in America- I have grown into a bubble of safety and innocence. I have been protected from the pain of the world. It sounds like every parents dream for their children, right?

God has been revealing to me that pain is as necessary as joy.

He has been revealing to me that pain is needed. Pain breaks your from ignorance.

I feel that as a lover in this world- of God and of his sons and daughters

that I am not loving if I don't care for the girl that is in the slums of Cambodia living a trafficked life. I am not loving if I stay oblivious to the starving child being forced to fight in a war that is not his own in Uganda. I am not loving if I choose to ignore the pain in my next door neighbor's voice as I pass them by.

Living in a place of optimism is not the ideal.

Living in reality- one filled with as much pain as there is joy. Living there- understanding hurts and pains. Doing something about injustice on the other side of the world.

That is truly loving.

As sick as it sounds- pain motivates me. Hearing of heartbreak inspires me. Oppression spurs me on to do greater things for God.

If I live in the world of Lexi- where everything is happy and right-

If I don't reach out and work to meet the needs and allow God use me to mend the hearts of others- then I'm not sure how much I am truly loving.

I know that I don't want to be guilty of not taking every opportunity because I didn't want to open my eyes to hurt.

This all may sounds like rambles, but what it all comes down to is that

I feel that we need to pray for our heart to break as God's does. If we don't know the hurts, we can't meet the needs.

I pray that God breaks our heart for what breaks his.

I want holy pain.

I once dreamt of a world

where sensitivity engendered inhibitions

and hopes and dreams dashed to the ground

purpose and meaning were sought

through one night stands

and quick fixes on narcotics

children wept till early morning

as they watched their parents willfully take their own lives

and parents watched as their children were

raped, drugged, and forced into the evils of war

A world where empty dreams and lost hope

only bread more empty dreams and lost hope

I watched as greed and power motivated

longing souls to kill and conquer-and destroy

I watched the deep longing in men and women

never be quenched by more possessions

It was a world where selfishness only led to isolation

and the few lights still shining

were fighting the struggle to be dim

from discouragement and temptation

I cried out and mourned for this world

that had long ago

closed their eyes and ears to the truth

I ached to tell them of how all of their efforts

are simply futile when their search is only for self-satisfaction

If only they would listen...

Their inhibitions would quickly fade

as their hopes and dreams are restored

purpose would soon be found

by the One who dries every tear

longings would be satisfied by the light that can never dim

the light that heals all wounds

and mends the broken hearts

I cried out and screamed

with all the life within me

I awakened to find this was not a dream

but the terror-filled world that lives

with eyes wide shut

was my world

and it still couldn't hear

and still couldn't see the light

shining in.

*(Yes, I know. Depressing. Sometimes I feel like you have to have things dealt to you in a very real, very raw unashamed way to truly have your eyes opened. Also, in reference to the world- I don't mean every person. I mean the world in general. The lights that are shining- keep on shining. Shine brighter and brighter until people can't do anything but open their eyes to the exposed truth of Christ.)

Like a lighthouse from a stormy sea...

I sit here, distracting my mind from what I am supposed to do. I was asked to put together a parent resource packet about many things, the worst (in my opinion) is pornography.

Reading these statistics... Here are a few of my "favorites".

-More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).

Or, here is another... protecting the innocence of children...

-100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography (U.S. Customs Service estimate)

This is not true of every pastor though- There are many out there that are fine.

-Over half of evangelical pastors admits viewing pornography last year.

Not to put it all on men's shoulders...

-34% of female readers of Today's Christian Woman's online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003).

And. Possibly the most heartbreaking...

-The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003 - divorcewizards.com).

Now, I am not bringing all of this up to depress anyone. Personally, I feel like we need to face the cold, hard truth face-to-face so that we may finally confront it. We cannot live our lives in apathy while there is an epic battle occurring on a daily basis.

As always- there is hope. Many people- many men, many women have taken a stand. They have chosen not to give in to the desires of their flesh. They have chosen not to settle for instant gratification, but to stand on their two feet, with the help of the one who has conquered all. As Hebrews 4:15 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." People battling in this war against their desires have hope in Christ- Jesus is not one who sits on the sidelines, fearlessly encouraging, as the players scoff to themselves, "Yeah, easier said than done." No, Jesus is the one, the only one who conquered all. Like a lighthouse from a stormy sea Jesus is to us in our struggles.

Never give up hope.

Although it may feel like you are going under, drowning in your own demise- hope is never lost.

Always trust in the one who always was, is, and will still be.

With him, you can do anything.

For further reading on taking a stand check out http://x3church.com/.

(All statistics from http://www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php)

My First.

Greater things are yet to come...

This I believe.

I have the hope that this world was not made for disaster, one-night stands, and diseases that rob even the youngest of their life.

It was not created to go on turning day after day while its children cry out for their lives.

Our existence was not by chance.

It was not a mistake.

We were created by a great lover.

One who desires to sweep us into a great, epic romance.

Desires to heals all wounds and hush even the deepest of cries that wrenches from the pit of our stomachs.

Greater things are yet to come...

We were not created to live inharmoniously. Not to hate another because of ethnicity or orientation. We were not created to live with haughty eyes looking down on our brothers and sisters, or with shame, begging for just a drop of water for our dying child.

Greater things are yet to come...

It doesn't begin with us just "waiting for the world to change". No, John Mayer. We must be the change. It is not on our own though.

We have a creator, a lover who dares us to jump into the water head first, and trust that he will take us on a journey that is worthwhile.

He will use our hearts to make a change. To be the change. To love the unlovable. To reach out to the untouchable.

Hope is an awesome thing. Certainly not for the faint of heart.

Do you dare?

Could you possibly take a jump and believe...?

Greater things are yet to come.