I feel that over and over again he is opening my blurred eyes to the beauty and wonder that he is.
In every step I am taking- I am seeing him.
Every word I am reading- he is there.
I think I am truly learning to see God in everything- and it has been through community with others.
Over the past couple of days I have had the blessed opportunities to pray with others- to share our hearts- to share our hurts- to be with others and there for them through their pain and joy.
I feel like I am living- I have been all along-but I feel as if my heart has come alive for God simply by loving on his children.
I am in love with him.
Although I have felt disconnected in a way for a while- even though I had lost my hunger and thirst- God is faithful- he does not let me go- he has restored me this time not by intense drowning myself in the Bible- not by hour-long prayer sessions (yet ;)), but right now- he has restored me by meeting with others- diving into the depths of our hearts and sharing Him with one another. I feel revived. Refreshed. Truly restored. Thank you, Lord.
Another piece of this I must touch on. I had chosen to release my inhibitions. In worship, I commonly don't just let myself go. I have never understood how powerful simply closing my eyes- and raising my hands to the creator of the universe is. I love letting go of myself to praise him in humble worship. I have now experienced how worship is not for God because he needs it- but because I need it.
Although I am young, I encourage you to truly let yourself go and worship God radically today.
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I have had too many thoughts and not enough posts lately. So, I want to cover everything in here.
The other day, I was reading about Solomon. Solomon- the wisest man that has ever lived. Even Solomon- in all of his glorious wisdom fell away from God.
Solomon let himself be led astray by his 700 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon- the wisest of all men. He surrounded himself with their gods, and he compromised his standards. He gave his heart over to idols.
It got me thinking- the wisest of humans still will never measure up to the glory of God.
Every new idea we have, God already knows. Every word that leaves our lips, God has already heard. Every step we take was written in his book even before we were born.
I feel that we so often can give ourselves over to complacency. I feel so often that I can give myself over to complacency. It is so illogical for me to be complacent with where I am when no amount of wisdom I can even attain will be enough to amount to God's.
God truly is glorious. He is the greatest of all things. Humans- we are so unworthy. Even Solomon, in all of his splendor fell away. We can never be perfect in our own wisdom- in our own strength. It is God- he is great. We need him.
We need him now.
We need him forever.
No amount of wisdom, strength, or knowledge can amount to God's.
But he loves us anyway. He wants us anyway.
How great is our God?
"From the rising of the sun till the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised."
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Pain and suffering.
I know that I cringe at the thought.
I know that as a young girl growing up in America- I have grown into a bubble of safety and innocence. I have been protected from the pain of the world. It sounds like every parents dream for their children, right?
God has been revealing to me that pain is as necessary as joy.
He has been revealing to me that pain is needed. Pain breaks your from ignorance.
I feel that as a lover in this world- of God and of his sons and daughters
that I am not loving if I don't care for the girl that is in the slums of Cambodia living a trafficked life. I am not loving if I stay oblivious to the starving child being forced to fight in a war that is not his own in Uganda. I am not loving if I choose to ignore the pain in my next door neighbor's voice as I pass them by.
Living in a place of optimism is not the ideal.
Living in reality- one filled with as much pain as there is joy. Living there- understanding hurts and pains. Doing something about injustice on the other side of the world.
That is truly loving.
As sick as it sounds- pain motivates me. Hearing of heartbreak inspires me. Oppression spurs me on to do greater things for God.
If I live in the world of Lexi- where everything is happy and right-
If I don't reach out and work to meet the needs and allow God use me to mend the hearts of others- then I'm not sure how much I am truly loving.
I know that I don't want to be guilty of not taking every opportunity because I didn't want to open my eyes to hurt.
This all may sounds like rambles, but what it all comes down to is that
I feel that we need to pray for our heart to break as God's does. If we don't know the hurts, we can't meet the needs.
I pray that God breaks our heart for what breaks his.
I want holy pain.
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